In our work with couples, we utilize a model called eft (Emotionally Focused Couples, Family, and Individual Therapy)

EFT started as a therapy model for couples, but has since expanded to family and individual work. EFT is well researched, and has been shown to be effective, especially compared to the dismal statistics associated with the success of couple’s therapy. EFT is based on attachment research that’s spanned decades. Basically, we all need a safe and reliable significant other in our life (family member, partner, spouse, friend) in order to flourish as humans. This is true for newborns, and it remains true for us until we die. We conceptualize couple and family distress in through the lens of attachment. When cannot access our partner’s care, we do not feel safe, and we often respond with predictable behavior that contributes to more relational stress. It works like a infinity loop- the problem feeds itself, and continues to grow. As couple therapists, we track the distressing pattern between partners, identifying what each contributes and experiences in the process of a fight, or anytime a couple does not feel connected. We then support clients in changing their emotional experience with their partner, which in turn creates safety and leads to behavioral change. Our goal is to increase connection and helpful communication that allows an increased sense of safety that many of us have not experienced previously in our relationships.

To learn more about EFT, you can read several books written by the founder of EFT, Dr. Sue Johnson.

Hold me Tight by Sue Johnson
Created for Connection by Sue Johnson (written specifically for Christian couples)
Love Sense by Sue Johnson

You can also learn more about EFT at the ICEEFT website.